Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
It’s not warm when she’s away
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
And she always gone too long anytime she goes away

Wonder this time where she’s gone
Wonder if she’s gone to stay
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
And this house just ain’t no home
Anytime she goes away

And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know

Hey I’ll leave the young thing alone
But ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
Only darkness everyday

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone
And this house just ain’t no home
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away
Anytime she goes away

Space.

There is a certain someone I’m missing in my life. I am alone at the moment and perhaps that makes it even worse. It’s been more than a year and I’ve been so used to giving that certain someone so much space in my life that now that person is not there, in that place, I don’t know what to do of all that freed up space, and time. Maybe, it is something that I wished for sometimes, but I’m not really for it. There is a sense of blankness, the empty void within. Clean, pure emptiness. And I’m gaping in the void to find that certain someone. Where are you? Hello…?

Milestones

22 February, 2009, 5:17 AM ~ 31 March 2009 | 20 April, 2009

Feels like I am living my life with milestones. And that is freaking me out. The worst thing is the waiting game; the time you have to wait to reach a milestone. There is deperation, the agony, the pain inside. The contentment is still not there when you achieve, because there is still a long way to go.. and you somehow get the feeling that you’re late. Or maybe it doesn’t matter anymore. But it’s important to be there, just for the sake of it; you’ve longing for so long to be there. Just to be there… just to have that feeling of being there, whether it matter now or not, the feelings matters. Be there, please!

glasses and stares

Sometimes you associate something with someone and all your life you just can’t get rid of that perception. When I was young, we had a teacher at school. Everyone at school used to call her Ms. Nusrat (though I’m not sure about Ms. tag); an old cynical lady, white-hair and a very nasty stare. An undisputed queen of gandasa culture in schools in those day. She used to wear her glasses at the tip of the nose and a mere stare was enough to send shivers down your spine. Not to mention that I used to hate that monster! But yesterday standing in front of the mirror, I got a glimpse of her with my glasses at the tip of the nose. It’s just that whenever I see someone this way, her image instantly pops up in my mind. Strange.

Vote!

Beyond the decision of ‘to vote or not to vote’, the main cause of headache for me is who to vote for? I’m not interested in generics but in ideology.

In the absence of PTI (whose educational reforms policy attracts me most), I think I would rather go with PML-N for their restoration of independent Judiciary. Although I sympathize with PPP but I have little faith in them since they have distanced themselves from socialism which I really don’t believe is their real face, in the first place.

Pushing back old ideas

There are few contemporary personalities that you grow fond of regardless of all the other opposing ideas about them. Raza Kazim is one of those personalities that I grew fond of, because of his work in Mentology; particularly, because of coming in contact with his works through Sanjannagar Institute and through Andreas and Birgitte in the last two three years. I was forwarded a one page summary (titled ‘Mentology in a Nutshell’) of Raza Kazim’s work and I have to admit that just reading it in distressing times has helped me come out of that state. It’s not magic; it about understanding your mind’s workings. Here I copy ‘Mentology in a Nutshell’:

• The standpoint of Mentology is nothing other than enabling an individual to reduce the contradictions and conflicts that he is facing today and increase his pleasures and happiness. This is the basic purpose of it. Any quantum consciousness and string theory I have done is for this purpose.
• If we take an overview of the contemporary state of human life we can see two levels of it. On the surface we see a lot of scientific and technological progress and its continuously emerging and growing fruits in the form of new inventions, etc, while on the other hand if we look inside through the other window we see stagnation in the happiness and pleasures systems of man and growing conflicts and contradictions in his internal life, which in turn impact upon his external life. At that level man is still going round and round in circles and trying to cope with the complexity that has emerged in the wake of his growing intelligence about the outside world and his unintelligence about his internal world.
• In this context my work is nothing other than to enable man to break free from this state and if not eradicate completely at least keep reducing the element of contradictions and unhappiness in his life and increasing the quantity and quality of pleasures and happiness.
• There are three steps I think which can enable a person to move in this direction. These steps I can clearly layout now after gaining a practical experience of applying them in the Institute.
• The first step is of pushing back your pre-existing ideas about yourself and the outside world; moving away from them and replacing them with new ones. The second step is to increase your understanding and corresponding capabilities in relation to your mental processes. And the third step is to do any work at a group level in which you pursue cutting edge quality.
• Now all these steps are actually processes and not an instant formula or magic. They are a continuous process of struggle whose results will manifest after you start proceeding in that direction.
• This is the manifesto of your time. Unlike the communist manifesto I am not saying that the ultimate goal is a communist society I am only saying that it will be a continuous struggle through which you will be able to reduce the conflicts and contradictions in your life and increase both the quantity and quality of happiness and pleasure. I am not spelling out what type of a society you will make because I know that after a certain stage of proceeding in this direction you will know what type of a society you want to make and there you will have the required wisdom and the capabilities to concretize it.

Conversations and releases

There are ways to start a conversation. One is to take a stance and start a conversation from that point on. Another is being more flexible, acceptable way; of understanding other’s point of view as well. Rigidity kills a conversation like nothing else. And you never learn anything new. Most people in our society take a conversation as simple as over a cricket match like a battle. Overpowering an opposing view is not always winning and more importantly gaining.

On a side note, I feel sad at not being able to download 45th episode of Naruto Shippuden. Dattebayo is strange in that way, but we gave them that power which they can exploit at their will. I hope they come back soon. I’m going to miss Naruto Shippuden in the mean time.

Merry-go-round

I actually hate it myself but can’t help it. Men are known to not ask for directions even in desperate situations. Although, I’m consciously aware of it but sometimes it’s just impossible to jump out of male egoist cocoon.

‘I will find it in my own special way!’

God, oh God!

“Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as they do it from religious conviction.” – Blaise Pascal (French Mathematician, Philosopher and Physicist, 1623-1662)

vision

Sometimes you wander too much in dust that your glasses catch dirt. You may not realize it but your vision is impaired. Judgments made on such vision are always going to be faulty.