Politically Incorrect

There is a certain someone I’m missing in my life. I am alone at the moment and perhaps that makes it even worse. It’s been more than a year and I’ve been so used to giving that certain someone so much space in my life that now that person is not there, in that place, I don’t know what to do of all that freed up space, and time. Maybe, it is something that I wished for sometimes, but I’m not really for it. There is a sense of blankness, the empty void within. Clean, pure emptiness. And I’m gaping in the void to find that certain someone. Where are you? Hello…?

There are few contemporary personalities that you grow fond of regardless of all the other opposing ideas about them. Raza Kazim is one of those personalities that I grew fond of, because of his work in Mentology; particularly, because of coming in contact with his works through Sanjannagar Institute and through Andreas and Birgitte in the last two three years. I was forwarded a one page summary (titled ‘Mentology in a Nutshell’) of Raza Kazim’s work and I have to admit that just reading it in distressing times has helped me come out of that state. It’s not magic; it about understanding your mind’s workings. Here I copy ‘Mentology in a Nutshell’:

• The standpoint of Mentology is nothing other than enabling an individual to reduce the contradictions and conflicts that he is facing today and increase his pleasures and happiness. This is the basic purpose of it. Any quantum consciousness and string theory I have done is for this purpose.
• If we take an overview of the contemporary state of human life we can see two levels of it. On the surface we see a lot of scientific and technological progress and its continuously emerging and growing fruits in the form of new inventions, etc, while on the other hand if we look inside through the other window we see stagnation in the happiness and pleasures systems of man and growing conflicts and contradictions in his internal life, which in turn impact upon his external life. At that level man is still going round and round in circles and trying to cope with the complexity that has emerged in the wake of his growing intelligence about the outside world and his unintelligence about his internal world.
• In this context my work is nothing other than to enable man to break free from this state and if not eradicate completely at least keep reducing the element of contradictions and unhappiness in his life and increasing the quantity and quality of pleasures and happiness.
• There are three steps I think which can enable a person to move in this direction. These steps I can clearly layout now after gaining a practical experience of applying them in the Institute.
• The first step is of pushing back your pre-existing ideas about yourself and the outside world; moving away from them and replacing them with new ones. The second step is to increase your understanding and corresponding capabilities in relation to your mental processes. And the third step is to do any work at a group level in which you pursue cutting edge quality.
• Now all these steps are actually processes and not an instant formula or magic. They are a continuous process of struggle whose results will manifest after you start proceeding in that direction.
• This is the manifesto of your time. Unlike the communist manifesto I am not saying that the ultimate goal is a communist society I am only saying that it will be a continuous struggle through which you will be able to reduce the conflicts and contradictions in your life and increase both the quantity and quality of happiness and pleasure. I am not spelling out what type of a society you will make because I know that after a certain stage of proceeding in this direction you will know what type of a society you want to make and there you will have the required wisdom and the capabilities to concretize it.

I actually hate it myself but can’t help it. Men are known to not ask for directions even in desperate situations. Although, I’m consciously aware of it but sometimes it’s just impossible to jump out of male egoist cocoon.

‘I will find it in my own special way!’

If all those African emails seeking help were not enough, now we have threat emails from Saudi Arabia!

Subject: ATTN?…

ahmad AlBinali <ahmad_company30@yahoo.com>

From: ahmad AlBinali <ahmad_company30@yahoo.com>

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 4:40:48 AM

Hello ,

I am Mr

Ahmad N. AlBinali From Saudi Arabia living in san francisco,I am a murder i was been paid to kill you and you family by one of your friend’s and the date has come and my colleagues has been in your state right now keeping eye’s on everystep’s you move but on my sreaching about your contact email information i find out your email and due to the love i have with your family i decided to inform you about before going any forward with my boy’s,

Do get back to me as soon as possible if you have anything to say about this ,so that i will give all their informations.

Thanks,

Ahmad N. AlBinali

On the second thought, I was wondering who would waste his/her valuable money on killing me and how much?

Sometimes it’s really hard describing what you want to say, and you just feel flustered without any solid reason. I hardly find music to be relaxing or soothing in such times, it even worsens the feel. Rarely you feel like really talking to people, rare even that you find it interesting. Since I’m into my own business, the time-frequency has changed. You get the impression your time-frequency is of a fly or an insect rather than a human; you feel that an event was long ago while it has just passed. Such a feel begets a certain sensation that make you shiver in horror the way you’re living your life.

The word-count for ‘feel’ in the above para is 5. Interesting.

I use the word ‘adhoc’ a lot for such living still I don’t get the courage to shut out the doors of such life on me. For a couple of years, I’d been of the view that long-term planning does not always breed results which in turn, unrealisingly of course, compelled to stop planning my life at all. Like having target in specific in life. I had to adjust and compromise a lot. Just the last night, speaking to Jakob Steiner, I realised that perhaps you should also have long-term goals. Like when making a decision, you should also consider that how you would feel about it after 5 years, and what would be subsequent results on your life in general.

Yasir[crazy]explored

The only break I have during long-working-night-hours is a 15 minutes break to have milkshake at the nearest juice corner. I feel I’m more suppressed than your common bhatta mazdoor!

Yasir[characterized]explored

I’m great fan of Darwin’s survival of fittest doctrine. Not that much of Darwin himself, but anyway. Ours (Lahore’s) handmade carpets industry is one of the biggest industries in the country. Over a period of five or six years, it’s transforming into something of a battlefield. Everyone’s striving hard to get rid of the competition by hook or by crook. They now have something of a imperialist system in place. Bigger players get bigger and small ones are dying fast. Lock-stock startegy exactly. NO matter how innovative you are, you’re having a hard time fighting in the market. I was expecting a big boom but what I got is nothing more than a humble season. Figures. Anyway, businesses take lifetime to develop into something real and I’m new to the arena. For me, it’s a survival game at first and I don’t look timid.

Today I’ve got a business meeting at Masoom’s, and one in Samanabad. Two different prospects, yet interconnected. It’s not just about business, it’s true about life as well.

One personal front, I’m backing up my whole system today as it refused to start in the morning. After numerous attempts, it finally did, when I sweating with fear of losing all my work. It’s actually that important to me. And I’m constantly thinking on the lines of upgrading my system, only that I’m not big on pocket these days. 1.1 Ghz is old, no? You can’t even run Google Earth successfully.

Learn to let go of the things and people you’re on the verge of losing. Let-go is the essence of mortality; of change. Mortality, after all, is not death but a change.

It’s been long since Hasan tagged me, else I would not have been revving all this. More or less, considerably less or more than more or less, I don’t think I fit in the format well, bear with me.

5 years ago:
Having graduated from school in flying colors, I found it hard to cope with an extra dose of liberty at college. This destroyed my grades and had literally sunk my ship. The year was also marked with the emergence of a new self – the formula didn’t change but the outfit did. And the ‘first love’.

1 year ago:
Frantic excutions of last minute details before actually moving to Lahore. New city, new equation. Sub squar zero!

5 Songs which I know all the words to:
There’s not a single song I can remember all the words of. However, there are some songs I rhyme a lot.

- Jay Mein Hondi Dholna ~ Noor Jahan
- Aa Kahin Door Chalay Jayein Hum ~ some Indian movie
- Long Gone Days ~ Mad Season
- Aay Ajnabi ~ Dil Se
- Aay Jazba-e-dil gar mein chahoon ~ Nayyera Noor

5 snacks I enjoy:
- Pakoray
- Potato Chips/French Fries
- Gol Gappy
- Pop Corn (if they count)
- Samosay

5 Things I’d like to do with 100$ million:
This depends on the means I get the money. I’m not into some lottery type thingy, and I reckon by the time I’ll earn 100$ million myself, I won’t need it anymore. Anyhow, this is for your amusement. In the order the events will happen, most likely.

- Buy a balloon
- A truck of Ice Cream (I’m by no means joking about first two!!)
- Go to Hajj/Umrah with my family
- Donate most the money to charity/welfare trusts etc.
- Invest rest in my business

5 places I would run away to:
- My mother
- Home
- Hide myself in Allah’s home – Mecca
- Isloo
- Pyramids in Egypt

5 thing I would never wear:
I take a different approach towards the word ‘wear’. To me it’s more your self than fluffy things you put on. Enough, here’s the list:

- Long hair
- Skin-tight shirts or jeans
- Stiff head
- Leniency toward my students
- Flattery

5 Favourite TV shows:
I abandoned the telly beast long ago.

5 Greatest joys:
- Sleeping in my mother’s lap
- Going to Umrah/Hajj
- A call from my family
- Appreciation/accolodes for my efforts
- Having my business established like I dreamt

5 favorite toys:
- My little daemon, PC (I’m not Pixel!)
- Pen
- Keys/Key chain
- Notepad
- A little fantasy

5 people I am tagging:
All the people, I want to tag are already tagged. So I guess the story ends here.

Goddamnit! If I’m bad at verifying these confirmation codes then why the hell Yahoo! asks for it every time I try to send an email. Yes try – I actually lost half a dozen emails just by entering wrong verification codes. I admit that I’d not been loyal to Yahoo! but Yahoo! people should care for visually-impaired-slash-abnormal-slash-pathetic people like me. *wink wink* And I boost “I’m techie!”

Honestly speaking, would any sane person like to decipher this weird lingo?