Politically Incorrect

If all those African emails seeking help were not enough, now we have threat emails from Saudi Arabia!

Subject: ATTN?…

ahmad AlBinali <ahmad_company30@yahoo.com>

From: ahmad AlBinali <ahmad_company30@yahoo.com>

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 4:40:48 AM

Hello ,

I am Mr

Ahmad N. AlBinali From Saudi Arabia living in san francisco,I am a murder i was been paid to kill you and you family by one of your friend’s and the date has come and my colleagues has been in your state right now keeping eye’s on everystep’s you move but on my sreaching about your contact email information i find out your email and due to the love i have with your family i decided to inform you about before going any forward with my boy’s,

Do get back to me as soon as possible if you have anything to say about this ,so that i will give all their informations.

Thanks,

Ahmad N. AlBinali

On the second thought, I was wondering who would waste his/her valuable money on killing me and how much?

Yasir[crazy]forwarded

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know… the one that’s red and has thorns.”

“Do you mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”

Smudgy here reminded me of a chain-riddle heard when I was a child. I’m not sure if I can deliver it perfectly now, but anyhow, here it is:

Q1: How do you put a Giraffe in a fridge?
Ans: Open the door, put Giraffe inside, close the door.

Q2: How do you put an Elephant in a fridge?
Ans: You blurted “open the door, put Elephant inside, close the door”? Wrong answer! The right answer is: Open the door, pull Giraffe out, put Elephant in.

See, common sense! Okay, third question. Don’t think for too long, though.

Q3: A freight plane is carrying electronics, suddenly it starts jolting. Pilot says that the plane is overloaded and we need to get rid of the heaviest item. What item would they throw out?
Ans: Fridge. Because it has elephant in it!

Q4: Today is Lion King’s birthday and every animal in the jungle is to attend his birthday party. Everyone’s there but one is missing. Can you tell who?
Ans: Elephant. Because he’s in the fridge, remember.

Easy one, eh?

Q5: A guy is standing beside a pool, just as he’s to jump into the water, he dies. Why?
Ans: Fridge falling from the sky hits him.

Q6: You’re to cross through a stream in the jungle filled with crocodiles. There’s no bridge or boat, how would you cross it?
Ans: Swim! Remember, crocodiles are attending Lion King’s birthday party!

I’m sorry if this causes mental torture, but if you’re a kid or just had an overdose of caffeine, I hope you can see the riddle through.

This guy here, Renan Bertoldi, just sent me a scrap from Brazil on Orkut with a photo of his friend. He writes:

Hey TC, I must bother you again…
Here’s your picture: http://www.orkut.com/AlbumZoom.aspx?uid=6864196056801169396&pid=15
(I strongly think you were separate when you were born.. Take a look)
Hugs

And in the second scrap he wrote:

This guy (Felipe, TC) is a very close friend of mine.. I found you in a islamic community, and got myself amazed… I thought Felipe (TC) had became muslim, but no! That wasn’t him.. That was his siamese brother: YOU!
HeheheheAbraços

Pretty close I guess, but not that close. Here’s the picture. Now, it’s for you to judge; I have the same blogger profile picture on Orkut.

A cartoon by Alex Gregory shows one dog speaking to another

I think we’ve found a spiritual heir for the “On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog” cartoon.

Go to Google, and search for word failure. See the first result!

And I hope, you guys know about Google Bombings.

Well, sometimes I feel strange. Strange in a way that it’s really stupid to think that way. Like I always long for a big big house only so I can employ a maali!

Day one:
She was the new girl in school. Her long, smooth and shiny black hair with red highlights, her high cheek bones, her smile, her eyes (and some other things that are a little inappropriate to mention). My eyes gazing at her. My mouth drooling with saliva. I was struggling to get my hair in position, trying hard to grab her attention, trying to look cool in whatever way possible. It’s a pity that she didn’t pay attention at all. She could have had at least taken a glance. The things she is missing out on. But then again, I am a man full of determination.

Day two:
I got her an expensive gift, a box of chocolates, a cute card (signed anonymous) and a red rose. I quietly placed everything in her school bag. It was rather disturbing to see her shred the card in pieces. Moreover, she passed the rose to some guy (who just for the record, is now my enemy). So, day two was not that encouraging either. Someone really needs to fix the attitude of my bride-to-be.

Day three, four, five, six:
Apparently, I realized that my sole reason for existence was to keep staring at her. She was standing there surrounded by all the cute guys. While I was drinking coke and stuffing my stomach with slice after slice of pizza (what if I become fat…as if then she would look at me!). So, with the pizza put aside I decided to do something – and fast!

Day seven:
I hired a person who would steal her purse and run away (a little extreme but love drives one insane). It was then that I would emerge as the hero and save the damsel in distress. Unfortunately, she carried no purse that day. Moreover, my so-called “ghunda” had a policy of no refund. My months’ pocket money wasted!

Day eight:
I sat at home, day dreaming about her. It was a holiday, what else could I do? I felt hopeless. Hmmm! Was she thinking about me as well? Hope so…

Day nine:
YAY! Finally it is time for school. I was never happier to wake up at 6:30 in the morning and then smell the sweet morning air and feel the cool breeze brush through my hair. Today was the day! I was going to write all my feelings on a piece of paper and give it to her. But then again, I never had the nerves to do such a thing. So, I asked a ten year old boy to pass the note to her. My heart was pounding. I was sweating with nervousness. Unfortunately the boy handed the letter to the wrong girl! Were my instructions not clear enough? I clearly told him to, “hand this letter to the most beautiful girl you see”. Kids! What would they know about beauty…

Day ten:
WOW! It’s such a miracle. I did not even look at her once that day. Maybe I had finally achieved control over my emotions. I had finally come to my senses. Or maybe that was just because she did not come to school. Hmm! was she not feeling well? Had anything gone wrong? Or was she on a date with someone…(gulp!).

Day eleven:
Success! I finally get to talk to her. I had a friend who introduced me to her. So, we talked all day long. Somehow…the chemistry was just not there. Maybe it has something to do with the “forbidden fruit” theory, if u don’t have it; the more you want it and once you have it you don’t want it anymore.

Day twelve:
Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! A new girl just came to school!

Source: http://www.jawanpakistan.org/creativity/stories_home/april_2005_01.asp