Politically Incorrect

22 February, 2009, 5:17 AM ~ 31 March 2009 | 20 April, 2009

Feels like I am living my life with milestones. And that is freaking me out. The worst thing is the waiting game; the time you have to wait to reach a milestone. There is deperation, the agony, the pain inside. The contentment is still not there when you achieve, because there is still a long way to go.. and you somehow get the feeling that you’re late. Or maybe it doesn’t matter anymore. But it’s important to be there, just for the sake of it; you’ve longing for so long to be there. Just to be there… just to have that feeling of being there, whether it matter now or not, the feelings matters. Be there, please!

Sometimes you associate something with someone and all your life you just can’t get rid of that perception. When I was young, we had a teacher at school. Everyone at school used to call her Ms. Nusrat (though I’m not sure about Ms. tag); an old cynical lady, white-hair and a very nasty stare. An undisputed queen of gandasa culture in schools in those day. She used to wear her glasses at the tip of the nose and a mere stare was enough to send shivers down your spine. Not to mention that I used to hate that monster! But yesterday standing in front of the mirror, I got a glimpse of her with my glasses at the tip of the nose. It’s just that whenever I see someone this way, her image instantly pops up in my mind. Strange.

Few people have their planning meter broken. Literally. Otherwise, they won’t suggest starting a business in passive mode to gauge its potential in the first year; whether or not it is feasible to run it fully. I mean, come on, do some market research and then come up with a business plan.

Yasir[skeptic]questioned

I’ve become an arrogant programmer afterall. I look for flaws in the system before inspecting my own code for bugs. Confidence, they proclaim? Another thing that I can almost recall about the confidence hypothesis is ‘the confident driver always have the severe accident’. I learnt that through experience that don’t speak until you’re asked to, in a gathering, but once you speak, no matter how faux your logic is, prove your word right. Requires balls of steel! But I had been thinking lately, when someone very dear, whom I place on very high on the pedestal of respect, asked me to look into the meaning of my very own name and the relevancy within the self.

Yasir: The name of one of the very first martyrs of Islam, died of course for the right cause.
Hussain: Again another, who was sacrificed.

So, for me it’s pretty unfitting (unfitting btw is a very mild word for such) to be arrogant and false.

Later added: On the funny side of it, someone also suggested another meaning of my first name, if you speak Punjabi. Translates roughly to ‘Brain fu****’! We use a term BFM (Brain Fu***** Machine) in Isloo for the incoherent talker (like me)! The name says it all!!

Yasir[irritated]declared

I am supposed to get hair-cut. NOW! A shipment is stuck in Karachi somewhere while it should been delivered yesterday, today is the last day else the container will depart from Karachi. Ufone’s network is not responding since afternoon and it’s already midnight you know. Again, I got myriads of programming stuff waiting for my eye. Two new website project under the hood. Some random prospects. Waiting for 3 payments to arrive; btw, I’m literally broke at the moment. Tomorrow or the day after is Lahore Metroblog’s meetup and I’m still not sure if I can squeez it in my already mismanaged schedule. A friend asked me to register a .fr domain for him and it’s DNS servers are not responding. Life is a mess.

Yasir[annoyed]questioned

Why don’t people talk to me in PHP instead? I ain’t English and despite belonging to urdu-speaking cult I’m losing my control over Urdu for last few years. And Punjabi’s only good for fight, abuse and shout.

Yasir[disposed]explored

I just read in my notebook a sentence I jotted down some time back:

My incompability is my Competitive Advantage. 

I don’t remember the source, but I find it only rational for big corporations like the ones who have monopoly over a system. Only then, your incompability is an advantage. For the likes of Microsoft. But for a small player, compability is the only compensation they have for the monopoly. Things like Firefox and iPod. Like the marketing guys say, “give compelling reasons to buy”.

Yasir[skeptic]probed

n. Knowledge worker, a term coined by Peter Drucker in 1959, is one who works primarily with information or one who develops and uses knowledge in the workplace.

The idea behind knowledge worker is, you keep your worker feeding for indefinite period of time in the hope that some day his grey braincells might start working and you boom. I have all the respect in the world for knowledge workers and have nothing against them but just accepting someone knowledge worker first day is not my type. You have to prove it first. For me, it’s little complicated and I reckon for every other employer who needs a person like that. But I don’t need one at the moment. I’d rather go for one who can cook for me!

No, I don’t imply that it’s irrational, but it’s rather irrational and irrelevant for me at this point in time. Maybe in future, who knows. But there’s no denying the fact that all these knowledge wokers love cyber-slacking, procrastination and are pretty difficult to handle. You don’t have to tell them to do the job first, you have to instill into their system that they have to do it. And have fun doing it. A lesson I learnt through teaching and used pretty successfully with my graduate students.

This also reminds me a latifa about the same thinking paradigm:

An employer to a prospect candidate for the post of a knowledge worker..

Employer: Your job is to think.
Candidate: And how much would you pay me?
Employer: 50,000/month
Candidate: And how much is the monthly turn-over for your company?
Employer: 20,000
Candidate: Then how on earth will you pay me 50,000?
Employer: That’s what you have to think!

Think. Think. Think.

Although, I see most of the marketing slogans as petty phrases, I somehow loved the one OCS coined recently: Think Done!

Another year comes to the end. I turned 22. To be honest, I’m somehow afraid of getting older. Everyone’s afraid of mortality. It feels like sand sweeping under your feet standing on the shore. Nostalgia is the enemy of future. One year since I abandoned my city and come to Lahore in search of my destiny. I believe to achieve it someday, but what then? What if I don’t? You shouldn’t think of defeat, is the rule of the game. I played whatever’s required to achieve my goal; I think I’m changing and I don’t like it much.

I guess, it’s important to evaluate your day at the end. Rather critical to do the same with the year. But shouldn’t we be more easy, let-it-be type of people? Isn’t it less cumbersome? What I’ve learnt, it never goes as planned. But you got to plan; otherwise, you plan to fail. At least, you’ve prepared for one scenario, if not more. Thin border line between staying focused and going overboard to plan your future. Nothing is incidental but you can only connect the dots backward. But every year when I sit to assess my own self and what I’ve achieved during the period, I found myself at the same spot I was before. I feel like moving in a ring, only the circle gets wider and wider every time. I want my center!!

No more New Year resolutions, I’m bad at them. I’m not good with people either. I’m not diplomatic; I tend to keep things simple. Life, acts, words, relationships. No pun intended. I’m sailing high at last, but one good season doesn’t mean the world, does it? Sorry, don’t mind me, I’m an old cynic.

I’m trying to go back home for the last three weeks, yes, three weeks. But hasn’t made it as yet. Now, it’s again postponed to Monday. I’m sick, literally, for four days. Has recovered some bits so no need to worry. But I really need a break from work. I got to go home. I’m officially homesick!

Smudgy here reminded me of a chain-riddle heard when I was a child. I’m not sure if I can deliver it perfectly now, but anyhow, here it is:

Q1: How do you put a Giraffe in a fridge?
Ans: Open the door, put Giraffe inside, close the door.

Q2: How do you put an Elephant in a fridge?
Ans: You blurted “open the door, put Elephant inside, close the door”? Wrong answer! The right answer is: Open the door, pull Giraffe out, put Elephant in.

See, common sense! Okay, third question. Don’t think for too long, though.

Q3: A freight plane is carrying electronics, suddenly it starts jolting. Pilot says that the plane is overloaded and we need to get rid of the heaviest item. What item would they throw out?
Ans: Fridge. Because it has elephant in it!

Q4: Today is Lion King’s birthday and every animal in the jungle is to attend his birthday party. Everyone’s there but one is missing. Can you tell who?
Ans: Elephant. Because he’s in the fridge, remember.

Easy one, eh?

Q5: A guy is standing beside a pool, just as he’s to jump into the water, he dies. Why?
Ans: Fridge falling from the sky hits him.

Q6: You’re to cross through a stream in the jungle filled with crocodiles. There’s no bridge or boat, how would you cross it?
Ans: Swim! Remember, crocodiles are attending Lion King’s birthday party!

I’m sorry if this causes mental torture, but if you’re a kid or just had an overdose of caffeine, I hope you can see the riddle through.